Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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