By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
