Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
