You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
