I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
is that a dick in a sweater?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
