Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
