he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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