im about as happy as oj after his trial
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
