i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
