I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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