ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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