i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize