his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
