brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
