come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
