every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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