I cockslap morals
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dicks are not precious.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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