Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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