I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am one with the molecules
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
