Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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