as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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