ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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