The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
smell my finger.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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