break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
