I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
