so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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