Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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