sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be sponsored by Trojan
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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