I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
