in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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