so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
