Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
