butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i now understand why vodka
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
