Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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