I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
