woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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