So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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