I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
