Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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