i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
