The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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