So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
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Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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