my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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