I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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