I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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