If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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