your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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