Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
