I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
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I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
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When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"