i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.