Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.