Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
