she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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