member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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