I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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