It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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