2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We're too hungover to prance.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize